Your answers:
Thursday, 4 July 2013
Your advice for finishing a novel
My question: When i'm older i want to be an author and i am writing quite a few novels at the moment but i never get to the end because i get bored, what advice would you give?
Your answers:
Your answers:
Monday, 1 July 2013
Lying cheating skank - the inspiration
Lying cheating skank is actually my own diary, it has my every thought and feeling in it but it's not the kind of diary you want to keep private. Every name has been changed so the people i'm writing about won't necessarily know that it's them i am talking about. It's the kind of story where i don't know what the endings going to be because the story keeps building, the past few months have been the best and the worst few months of my life and it needs to be put onto paper for anyone to understand because when you read a book you become that person and you keep a part of that character in you. This means that my readers won't be able to judge me because they have walked the miles i have in my shoes. Every surprise that comes in the book was as much a shock to me as it will be to you when you read it. So far it's the story of Siora's love life but it is beginning to spiral into a story of anorexia and that is where you come in readers, email me your anorexia stories and they will be posted onto my blog in a tab at the top. so what are you waiting for? email em at tanyaolaylabeauty28@gmail.com and i will post it onto my blog!
Love Tanya xx
Love Tanya xx
Seriphena - The Black Death
Preface
I could feel my world slipping away as I stared into the fire, everyone was gone, and there was nothing left for me to do. All my friends, my family, gone. Forever. There was a pain so sharp in my heart that it was almost physical. Elizabeth was all I had left, the only thing that kept me together as the world crumbled around me. Everyone was gone, and then there is me, Seriphena.
Chapter 1
I sighed as my spade hit the ground for the last time. At last! I can go home to my sisters. As I dragged my feet along the dirt tracks I thought about the most horrific disease that had ever come to Banham. I looked across the road at William’s house. I felt a tear appear in the corner of my eye when I thought about his death. He was so sweet to me when we were just about to get married when I saw the first boil appear. I sat by his side while he lay in bed and the spasms got worse. Three days. That’s all it took for the vile disease to wipe my fiancé’s soul from this earth. We had no doctor in our village; he also had been killed by the disease. I had cried as I felt his life slip through my fingers and felt his heart beat for the last time. I shook my head and carried on walking. The Black Death will always be there to haunt me. How could I forget about the Black Death when everywhere I turn I see another of my friends with a boil? I finally could see the silhouette of my hut ahead of me and ran towards it to see my sisters sitting outside in the garden. I shooed them inside, I couldn’t bear to let them roam around outside where there is death hiding in every corner. Our mother got infected by the poison also and my father’s death, caused by a broken heart, so now it is my sisters and I, alone in this cruel world. “Hello my darlings!” I said as I ran down and sat down beside them and kissed each of there foreheads in turn. “Agges dead!” giggled Margaret. “What?” she nodded her head rhythmically and pointed he tiny fist towards the window. I gasped when I saw Agnes’ corpse on the top of the pile on the cart.
Chapter 2
I scowled as I passed Agnes’ empty shell of a house. I knew I had to take action, so there I was, passing the village sign, ours was the only village in the area that had a sign. I didn’t know what it said; it looked like gibberish to me.
I finally found my feet walking through the church doors to a suddenly silent room. I could feel their pity radiating through the room. “Right,” I said as I stared at the different people at the pews “let’s get started.” I sat at the front of the room. I looked behind me to see Agnes’ sister, Mary, stand up. It wasn’t hard to tell she had been crying, her eyes were read and her hands were shaking. Her loud sniff filled the room. “We must whip each other.” I waited for the outrage of our village, nothing. Only silence. “We must punish ourselves. We have all sinned at some point!” Her voice began to rise and tears began to stream down her red cheeks. “It is your fault!” I couldn’t help but notice her eyes flicker to me as she said, “that my sister is dead.” a deadly silence filled the room as her words silently echoed through all our brains and we took in her meaning. My eyes dragged to the split seam on Mary’s sleeve and gasped as it split al the way around and fell to the floor. She now had some sewing to do. I gave her a sympathetic smile but she just scowled at me and sat back down. “We should burn the dead” shouted gill from the back. I heard Agnes’ sister sob. The priest then piped in and said “We shall all go on a pilgrimage!” I disagreed with everything they said so I stood up. “You’re all crazy!” I whispered. “Pardon?” the priest gasped. “You’re all crazy!” I repeated, louder. “We just have to stay away from slaughter houses and use medicines from the as apothecary!” There was dead silence. And then there was an uproar. There were people laughing and shouting while I stood there in shock. It was not the reaction I was expecting.
Chapter 4
A year, that’s all it took for the majority of our village to die and sweep down the river with their souls now angles floating up to heaven, including my little Maggie, the youngest of my sisters. A lot of people a celebrating the end of the Black Death; however, he majority of us stay at home and mourn for our loved ones. I tried to keep my sisters inside as the disease crept through the village like a snake, every death another blow to the hope of survival. I made Jim, my neighbour; help me build a larger and more comfortable house for me and Elizabeth. Everyone got paid more; the lords need us so we can haggle. I now have enough money to buy coloured frocks for Elizabeth and me; however, we walk in black to mourn for our dead sister (although the frocks are quite stunning!) I work more in the fields, Lizzie helps out too. We work together to earn our food over the harvest period. A lot of people are buying land and are therefore richer but I keep none as I still cannot afford it. Although we all do get paid higher wages there was a law introduced that said we must not higher than what we were before the Black Death. Of course, we all ignore it. In other corners of the country however, rebellions have begun and they will spread down to us as rapidly as the disease itself. It was all I could do to keep me and Lizzie ind3ependant people.
Epilogue
As I felt my world slip away, I stared into the fire, everyone was gone, and there was nothing left for me to do. All my friends, my family, gone. Forever. There was a pain so sharp in my heart that it was almost physical. Elizabeth was all I had left, the only thing that kept me together as the world crumbled around me. Everyone was gone, and then there is me, Seriphena and this little hut with my sister and the scars that kept the mental bandages around my heart, trying to fix what has been broken and constantly failing. I could hear my sister shouting my name as the flames became a sheet of red over my eyes; I could feel my sister shaking me but the mental pain was so intense, I laid there and closed my eyes as the steady rhythm of my sisters head drummed through my ear, her heart became my own as I felt my soul lift high into the air and leave the pain behind me, I was leaving my sister behind but she would grow into a young lady with a world that was much better than what I had been brought up in. Every memory flashed through my head in an instant and it was suddenly gone, all gone. I stepped through gates and into the arms of William and Maggie’s arms were wrapped around my leg and the whole world was there around me, everyone I loved.
Sunday, 9 June 2013
Run away - Chapter 2 - by twila and tanya
i woke up stiff and hungry. i had been lying on a piece of cardboard all night and my whole body ached. i sighed. and then remembered. " im seeing jay today in hmv!!!" i says to mself. many other homeless people scattered around me on the ground woke up and looked up at me. eyebrows raised. clearl dissapointed that such a ' spoilt ' looking child was there. I looked to my right and saw a girl with soft brown hair sitting in the corner. Her head turned and she looked me in the eye, she just stared. I smiled, I would have a friend in this place; however, she scowled instantly and then looked at her knees once more. I wasn't sure what to do. The old man that was next to me looked up at me and smiled, the weird thing was, I wasn't even scared so I smiled back. "You're new here" he croaked. He looked so thirsty and when I had that thought I realised: I was thirstier than I had ever been in my life and hungrier than the day and a half when I couldn't because of my tummy problems. I began to cry. The pain was overwhelming. I felt my body slump to the floor and just sit there. "Hey! What you crying for?" I heard a girls voice ask. I looked up and she was there staring at me, her eyes a lot more sympathetic than her the rest of her face. " i...im sorry....im just realising how bad eveything is.." i break off again to sob harder. " hey...ill be your friend if you want. ill help you get food and water. come on. ill show you" she put her arm round me and stood up. " im lily by the way" I stared at her and sighed. "Oh my lord! Forgive me! Please forgive, its eleven o'clock and ive slept in, please my lord give me another chance and rewind the time." i listened to a womans frantic prayer a few beds behind me and gasped. "what! it's eleven! sugar!" i grabbed my coat and ran onto the street out of the alley. "Wait! where are you going?" yelled lily, still in the alley. i stopped and turned around. "to see my date!" she stared at me with her jaw hanging open. "you have a date?" "yeh!" "but look at yourself" i stopped at looked in the H&M window and gasped. "i look like a... a... homeless person..." it sunk in then that that was what i was, a homeless person. "it doesnt matter. you need money!" she said catching me up. "ive got money." i realised as i felt the familiar recatangular shape of the card in the sole of my shoe. "huh? you have money?" i nodded and pulled out my card. "i think it's time you had a decent breakfast." i laughed and pulled her into mcdonalds.
I stared at the rack of Taylor Swift RED. i sighed because it was never going to be mine now. Lily was already in Carluccio's, she was with her boyfriend Jimmy. It was half past twelve and i began to feel a bit worried. i said lunch time at HMV. it just didn't make sense. The clock kept ticking and i knew i'd been stood up, everyone in HMV knew it too. a load of girls came out sniggering and pointing at me. i felt a tear drip down onto my face and i decided i couldn't bear it any more. I ran back to the alley and sobbed into my pillow.
I felt lily beside me. "you ok?" she whispered. I carried on laying there and didnt say a word. "what happened?" she continued to sit by my side until i had the strength to answer. "i got stood up."
"i thought so." we sat in silence for a minute in the darkness until i said, "how come you're here?" she sighed and then said. "Well, it's a long story."
I stared at the rack of Taylor Swift RED. i sighed because it was never going to be mine now. Lily was already in Carluccio's, she was with her boyfriend Jimmy. It was half past twelve and i began to feel a bit worried. i said lunch time at HMV. it just didn't make sense. The clock kept ticking and i knew i'd been stood up, everyone in HMV knew it too. a load of girls came out sniggering and pointing at me. i felt a tear drip down onto my face and i decided i couldn't bear it any more. I ran back to the alley and sobbed into my pillow.
I felt lily beside me. "you ok?" she whispered. I carried on laying there and didnt say a word. "what happened?" she continued to sit by my side until i had the strength to answer. "i got stood up."
"i thought so." we sat in silence for a minute in the darkness until i said, "how come you're here?" she sighed and then said. "Well, it's a long story."
"i'm listening." she nodded and then began her tale.
"well.....ill.make.this quick. ........my mum and dad had a car crash and
both died when i was a baby. my aunty looked after me, untill out house was
set on fire by a candle that had fallen. i was 8 by then. my aunty died in
the fire. i saw the burns across her face and ran. i ran all the way here
from london"........
"wow." i sat and stared at lily for a moment, full of respect. She was so much more courageous than i ever could be and ever would be.
"well.....ill.make.this quick. ........my mum and dad had a car crash and
both died when i was a baby. my aunty looked after me, untill out house was
set on fire by a candle that had fallen. i was 8 by then. my aunty died in
the fire. i saw the burns across her face and ran. i ran all the way here
from london"........
"wow." i sat and stared at lily for a moment, full of respect. She was so much more courageous than i ever could be and ever would be.
Saturday, 8 June 2013
Run away - chapter 1 - By Twila and Tanya
i stared at the blank piece of paper infront of me and sighed. what should i write to my boyfriend. heya babe?? i scribbled it out as soon as i wrote it. i couldn't think of anything appropriate so i screwed up the paper and chucked it onto the floor. i could feel the first tear form in the corner of my eye and then drip slowly down my cheeks and onto my chest. the tear fell down my t shirt, and landed on the table. it made a massive crash in my head. i sat staring at the drop of salted water for a moment and thought about my life, i had the worst boyfriend in history, a best friend who didn't care about me and my dog would probably bury me in the garden like his beef bones if i died infront of him. i collapsed against the table. my head rested.on my arms. and started crying. it felt as if i had the whole ocean inside of me and was coming out
in 2 massive water-falls. My world was falling apart, i had nothing to keep me going, i looked up at the pink bag and thought the unthinkable. maybe, just maybe i could? i got up out of the chair and picked up my school bag and emptied everything out of it. There was no one in the house so i crept into the kitchen and opened the cupboards, i emptied all the food i could into the rucksack and picked up my coat. i looked out of the front window and saw my mums figure begin to walk up the drive. i gasped and ran out the back door and onto the road as fast as i could. my heart thumped in my chest and my head rocked. i suddenly went dizzy and my eyes went out of focus. "twyana? is that you?" i hear my mum echoing in my head. nooooo! my head cleared and i ran towards the bus that was pulling in at the station. i willed that it was the bus to london and not attleborough. it was to bury st edmunds. far away enough? i ask.my self. it will have to be. i feel no weight on my shoulder. and look down. No! my bag! i say out loud. many people stared at me. i didnt care. more tears formed. i blink
in 2 massive water-falls. My world was falling apart, i had nothing to keep me going, i looked up at the pink bag and thought the unthinkable. maybe, just maybe i could? i got up out of the chair and picked up my school bag and emptied everything out of it. There was no one in the house so i crept into the kitchen and opened the cupboards, i emptied all the food i could into the rucksack and picked up my coat. i looked out of the front window and saw my mums figure begin to walk up the drive. i gasped and ran out the back door and onto the road as fast as i could. my heart thumped in my chest and my head rocked. i suddenly went dizzy and my eyes went out of focus. "twyana? is that you?" i hear my mum echoing in my head. nooooo! my head cleared and i ran towards the bus that was pulling in at the station. i willed that it was the bus to london and not attleborough. it was to bury st edmunds. far away enough? i ask.my self. it will have to be. i feel no weight on my shoulder. and look down. No! my bag! i say out loud. many people stared at me. i didnt care. more tears formed. i blink
rapidly to clear them. i run towards the bus and hop on. i quickly check my pockets and count out £20. it wasn't enough, as the bus pulled away i caught a final glimpse of my pink bag hanging on the rose bush of my next-door neighbours house and started to cry. i didn't even have my card. i was doomed. I was going to starve and i didn't even have enough money to buy myself one meal at pizza hut. i continued to sob all the way to bury. I stepped off the bus at my usual stop and then fell towards the floor but felt arms pick me up before i could damage myself. i looked up and saw the most angelic faced boy i had ever seen in my life. i look up to see jay. my enemies ex boyfrind. i had fancied him since forever and now i was in his arms. i lie there for a minute savouring the.moment. then he asks " you ok?" i wasnt sure what to say. i just stared into his deep blue eyes for a moment and then said "yeh. um.. i think" i looked down and saw a silver credit card in his hand. "i think this is yours? you're Twyana right?" he held up the card and i gasped in delight. " yeah. thanks by the way.....jay." i tilt my head and stare again into his eyes again. i immediately feel relaxed. " so.. when did you break up with jasmine?" i ask him. "oh jazzy..well.....about a week ago..." he sniffs. "oh. sorry. didnt mean to upset you..." i tell him. " no dont worry. i broke up.with her... um... because i fancy someone else..." he cut off quickly and i don't push it. i don't really want to know about who he fancies because it could never be me. "well, i better be off i suppose. see you around." i smile at him and walk towards the arc. " yeh, see you around." he whispered. i began to walk away when he said. "hey! um... why dont you um... you know, would you like to... well, if you get what im trying to say, i just... yeh" i smiled and said "i would love to! Shall we meet in HMV tomorrow lunch time?" a grin lit up on his face and he nodded. i waved goodbye and saw the final glimpse of him punch the air. Well, running away worked out better than i planned.
Lily
Lily
i woke up and stared at the new girl. she must have come last night. as i looked, she woke up and grinned at me. i made a face at her and looked down at my knees. i grinned to myself and thought about it. maybe i should be her friend......as i was thinking, i noticed a muffled sobbing. i looked again at the girl to see droplets of tears running down her face. i went over and tried to comfort her. i think she was a bit surprised but she looked a bit happier. then she ran away. " wait! where are you going?" i called after her. " im gping to see my date!" she told me. She then grabbed hold of me and took me out of the alley.
Lying cheating skank - chapter 2
I sat down and stared at the
piece of paper infront of me. I knew what I needed to do. I unzipped my
butterfly pencil case and reached in. My fingers searched through the nubs of
creativity and grasped the parker fountain pen. I pulled my hand out and took
off the lid. My pen flowed over the page and wrote this:
Hate:
Your stupid questions
You flirted with other girls
You never seemed to love me the way I loved you
You didn't kiss me back
You always walked the other way you saw me
You hated my best friend
You laughed at me
You always took things the wrong way
You stood infront of windows and sorted out your hair, vain
You always talked about video games
You always complained about what I wanted to do
You never listened to me
You make me love you
Love:
You texted me sweet messages
You called me beautiful, a lot
Your hair
Your beautiful blue eyes
Your walk
You always bought me dinner (even if it was McDonald's)
You took me on dates
Your sweet
You stand infront of windows and sort out your hair, sweet
You held my hand in public
You kissed my cheek
You were always happy to see me
You were never embarrassed of me
You hung around with me and my mates
You ate my lunch with me
You always tried to come and find me
You bought me a necklace
You were never shy when we were on our own
You went to the cinema with me
You texted me good morning and good night
Your funny
You never took sides between me and your friends
You thought I was cute in an elf hat and you told me
You had a pic of me as your home screen
Your smell
You make me love you
I came to the conclusion, once I’d finished writing my lists that there was far too many reasons why, if he ever asked, I would take him back. I knew I shouldn’t, I knew now that he was a cheat and a liar so why did I feel the need to be loved by him again? It didn’t make sense! I decided to write a final sentence at the end and then put it in the food cupboard where no one would ever find it.
Your stupid questions
You flirted with other girls
You never seemed to love me the way I loved you
You didn't kiss me back
You always walked the other way you saw me
You hated my best friend
You laughed at me
You always took things the wrong way
You stood infront of windows and sorted out your hair, vain
You always talked about video games
You always complained about what I wanted to do
You never listened to me
You make me love you
Love:
You texted me sweet messages
You called me beautiful, a lot
Your hair
Your beautiful blue eyes
Your walk
You always bought me dinner (even if it was McDonald's)
You took me on dates
Your sweet
You stand infront of windows and sort out your hair, sweet
You held my hand in public
You kissed my cheek
You were always happy to see me
You were never embarrassed of me
You hung around with me and my mates
You ate my lunch with me
You always tried to come and find me
You bought me a necklace
You were never shy when we were on our own
You went to the cinema with me
You texted me good morning and good night
Your funny
You never took sides between me and your friends
You thought I was cute in an elf hat and you told me
You had a pic of me as your home screen
Your smell
You make me love you
I came to the conclusion, once I’d finished writing my lists that there was far too many reasons why, if he ever asked, I would take him back. I knew I shouldn’t, I knew now that he was a cheat and a liar so why did I feel the need to be loved by him again? It didn’t make sense! I decided to write a final sentence at the end and then put it in the food cupboard where no one would ever find it.
So
much more to love about you than hate. I wish I still had all that...
It didn’t occur to me at the time that I could have ripped
it up and chucked it in the bin, but I suppose the back of the food cupboard
seemed far more romantic. I never intended on giving it to Jimmy, not ever, not
in a million years… I looked at the love list and my eyes hovered over: You thought I was cute in an elf
hat and you told me
I
smiled as I stepped through the progress centre doors. He was waiting for me,
so was the whole of year 7 by the looks of things. “Open it Siora! Open it!” I
looked down at the large bag Jimmy was holding in his hands. I already knew what was in there: a necklace
and a teddy bear; Harry had told me – what a jerk. I smiled and handed him his
card. It was rubbish, just something I’d picked up. He smiled and handed me
mine. I gasped. It was massive! “Lets go by your form cause we’re not actually
aloud in here.” Laughed Scarlett. We made our way through the other doors and
an even larger crowd surrounded me. “Oooooh!! Its really big!” I laughed with
the people who sniggered at Katy’s comment and she realised her mistake. “The
card, doofus.” She sniggered along with them and I smiled. “Go on then! Open
it!” someone said. I turned the card over and looked at the back. I was
disappointed; no SWALK (sealed with a loving kiss) written on the envelope
seal. I placed my fingers on the edge and dug my nail in the paper. I tore it
open and pulled out the card from inside “Merry Christmas and a happy new
year!” was written on the front and it was 3D! I gasped with delight and looked
at Jimmy, I would have kissed him if no one had been there. But there was, a
lot of people. I opened the card and saw the basic words that could only be
expected, he was only male. “To Siora, merry Christmas, love Jimmy. x” At least
there was a x at the end. I smiled and
hugged him. He passed me my present but I still refused to open it much to
everyone’s disappointment, they were only nosy anyway, they didn’t really care.
It
was fancy dress day and Jimmy was wearing an elf hat and I was wearing two
pairs of deelyboppers: one Christmas trees the others Rudolf. I felt hands on
the top of my Rudolfs and they were whipped off my head. The same happened to
my Christmas trees before I could get my hands up to my head. It was only Twila
so I let her have them for now. Jimmy smiled
and took his elf hat off and placed it onto my own head. I smiled and said “I
look ridiculous!” He shook his head and said “You look cute, really cute.” And
hugged me. I made the hug last longer than usual, so that I could look up into
his sapphire eyes and smile. I loved his eyes. He then whispered in my ear “You
look MEGA cute in an elf hat.” I just stayed in his arms.
Although in my
memory I was smiling, I was not. Why did I do it to myself? Why did I put
myself through so much pain? Why did I choose to look at the memory? Bring it
all back? I sighed and typed up my list. I went onto google+ and copied my list
onto a post. I hit share and hoped no one commented.
There was a knife
being twisted in my stomach. I looked down and saw no knife, no it was just
pain. I stared at the bowl infront of me. I willed it to come out, if it meant
the pain would go away I would quite happily puke over the whole house then
clear it up afterwards if it meant the pain would go. I eventually dozed off to
sleep with sick in the back of my throat ready to explode. 1:00AM I felt
it. My eyes opened up as wide as windows and I sat up straight. I gasped and
everything tumbled out of my system into the bowl and the floor. “I am so
sorry.” I whispered as I stared at the mess on the white rug. Another load
flooded out of me as well as tears. It was horrid. I sat there gagging with
nothing coming out of me. It was
horrid. My mum came round the bed and picked up the bowl. I heard her gagging
as she poured the puke down the toilet. “I am so sorry.” And my head then hit
the pillow and I was fast asleep. 1:32AM I could feel it again. I had
hoped that would be the one and only puke but here it was again. I jumped out
of bed and ran into the loo. I was determined not to put my mum through that
again. A sticky yellow liquid poured out of my mouth and into the loo. I tried
not to look but I knew it wasn’t as bad as the chunks that I had thrown up last
time. I was pleased that it wasn’t going to be so uncomfortable next time. I
hoped I would have one more puke up and then I would be done, I could go to
sleep and rest. 2:14AM It was happening again. I flung the covers back
and went to the bathroom. The emptying of my stomach wasn’t as violent and I
hoped this would be the last, I was certain. I sat there retching again and
again until nothing more came up and just gagged uncontrollably. I slowly made
my way back to bed exhausted. 2:36AM I could feel it, it was happening
again. I was tired of it. I ran to the
loo and puked up yet another time. It
was a paler yellow this time and the consistency was runnier than last time. I
sat on the carpet and closed my eyes. It was then that I knew that I was going
to have a bad night and this certainatly wouldn’t be the end. It carried on
until 7:43 that morning. Every half an hour. I sat in bed after the half past
seven puke up in agonizing pain. I sat in bed slightly dizzy and confused. My
eyes were closed and I couldn’t help myself from groaning. I could vaguely hear
my parents asking me if I was OK but I didn’t care and wasn’t listening. All I
could hear was the pounding of my heart, all I could feel was the sweat that
smothered my body and the shocking pain in my stomach. I stayed like this for
an hour until I felt something stir in my tummy. My mum heard it and she looked
at me. I looked at her. “Move” she shot out of the way and I ran into the
toilet and let it all out. “Come on” I whispered as all the runny liquid came
out of me. I willed it on, every morsel of pain out of my system, gone. “Come on,
do your worst. Come on out of me. hit me with your best shot.” And it did.
Every last scrap of food and drink that was inside of me came out and the best
thing was it didn’t even leave me hungry, thank god – that meant no more. I had
a silent celebration in my head and went back to bed. My head hit the pillow
and I was gone. My last thought was Jimmy’s face when he held my hand for the
first time.
I
pushed my hair back behind my ear and looked at him. I couldn’t believe it, he
was mine, all mine. There was ice on the floor but I didn’t realise. I went to
run out of the junior block with my gang but slipped. I was shocked to find an
arm behind me that held me up. I fell back into it and stayed next to his heart
for a second. I knew it was him, I could just tell. I looked at my friends and
I could see there constrained giggles. I smiled and laughed; my friends were
suddenly at ease and joined in with my giggling. I stood up and brushed my self down, I then felt his hand slip
into my own and I looked up into his eyes. He smiled his crooked smile and I
beamed. My heart was having a celebration and I could hear and see fireworks
beside his face. I looked down embarrassed but kept my hand intertwined with
his. We carried on walking, me, him and the rest of the gang, but I then saw
them: Hattie and Roberta. They hated my guts. I gulped and looked at Kara but
she wasn’t looking at me, she didn’t even understand but I thought she would
understand more than the rest. Kara and me had gone to the same primary school and
had been best friends until Hannah took me away, the horrid thing was I didn’t
even realise that I was leaving Kara behind.
Roberta and Hattie are a year older than me and treat me like a baby. I
looked ahead of me and saw Roberta smiling. “You’re a great couple.” She said.
She then chuckled and laughed with Hattie, luckily they kept on walking. I smiled anyway and looked back at Jimmy, he
was frowning but he then looked at me and a grin lit up his face. All was well and I didn’t care about anyone
else but the future Siora-Jean Jones and Jimmy Jones.
I
scowled as I thought of Hattie; she was horrid but nowhere near as horrid as
Hannah. I opened my eyes. It felt considerably better, until I tried to get
up. One step out of bed led me to
complete weakness, the one problem was, I was starving. I felt my eyes fill
with tears as I crawled down the stairs then into the kitchen. I could see the cupboard, which held the
bread but my body took me to the chair. I cautiously stood up and then pulled
it open. I collapsed into and just sat
there for ten minutes heavy breathing. I then realised how hungry I was and
made my way to the toaster. Every inch took half my strength and I began to
cry. Nearly there, I stood up and
opened the cupboard; I was drained from energy. I peered in and my hand closed
around the white loaf of bread. I dragged it out and onto the sideboard. Two
pieces of toast went into the toaster and I dragged myself back to the chair ad
left the cupboard open. I got back and closed my eyes.
Part
of me had known I should have only eaten one.
The sick feeling was back and I fell onto the floor and willed myself to
sleep, nothing happened and I just layed there, exhausted.
One month later
I stared at the blank sheet
of paper infront of me. I needed to
draw an ideal settlement place, geography homework, but I knew it wouldn’t make
the page come alive. It needed words. Words that were going to show him that I
cared, that there was still love in me yet. I picked up the parker pen and
sighed, I didn’t think that this was a good idea, but it had to be done. My
hand rested lightly around the pen and I thought about my first sentence.
To Jimmy,
I think it’s important
that you know that I miss you.
I
stopped and stared at the paper again. I sighed and let my pen flow over the
page.
So I want to talk to you again, just as friends you
know? It would also mean a lot to me
if you didn’t show anyone else this letter and, if Esmee has done as I have
asked, no one but you will even know you have this letter so… Anyway. Meet me
at lunchtime at the top right corner of the field. No one needs to know why and
please come alone.
From
Siora
I
smiled. It was what I wanted, to see him again, to talk to him. I folded it up and put it in my blazer
pocket tucked away safely. I would give it to Esmee in the morning; she’s the
only one who can be trusted to give it to him without anyone else knowing.
I
could feel the lightweight of the folded letter in my pocket; it kept bumping
against my leg as I walked. Its presence aggravated me into eventually taking
it out of my pocket and wrapped up in the palm of my hand. I looked around me as I placed my foot on
the first step, there was Esmee. The bell shrilled in my ears as soon as I took
my first step off the bus. I gasped in
horror as the facts hit me, full force, in the face; Jimmy wasn’t going to get
the letter. I ran as fast as I could
after Esmee but she could run faster and she was out of sight before I could
catch up. I was out of breath and devastated, there was nothing I could
do. I was never going to be able to
meet up with Jimmy no matter how hard I tried.
I sat staring at the
computer screen in form; he should be reading the letter right now. I felt like
I was going to cry, it was hopeless, I knew I was never going to get Jimmy
back, God says that it’s not meant to be. I couldn’t believe it; I went through
so much effort writing that letter and now he won’t get it and if he does get
it, it wont make sense! I looked at the other side of the table, saw Hannah
laugh like a monkey, and then scowled. Her face made me feel even worse and I
went back to staring at the computer screen. I didn’t know what I could do. I
had no photos I wanted to edit, google+ is banned on school computers, so is
blogger and so is twitter. There was nothing I could do. I had been through
every program on the system and there was nothing more to do. Luckily, the bell rang before I could get
too bored. I made sure that I waited
for Twila and we made our way to Geography. I ran straight to Esmee when we got
there and I explained everything and how it was useless and how stupid I was.
“Siora.” I nodded. “We have another form time today.”
I was staring at the
computer screen again but this time I had my fingers crossed. The computer
wasn’t on this time and I knew that right now Jimmy was reading my letter. I
had no idea what he was thinking and to be honest, I didn’t even know what I
was thinking. Finally the bell went and I didn’t even wait for Twila, I was so
focused on finding out what Jimmy said, she caught up though and we walked to
Citizenship together laughing like idiots, I attempted to tell her what was
going on but she just kept talking and eventually I gave up. I walked in to the
classroom and much to my delight Esmee was already there. She nodded and a
smile tingled on the edges of lips. I was so pleased. She told me all about it
“he couldn’t read a couple of the words so I had to tell him what they were.”
We both rolled our eyes and laughed. “He also said “whoever wrote this is weak”
whatever that means.” I stopped laughing and that was when I began to feel
sick. My good mood suddenly ended and I went back to my seat in silence.
I felt sick all the way
through citizenship and I began to give up on me and Jimmy. As soon as the bell
went I ran to the bus nearly in tears.
I knew at that point that I was an idiot and I should have never written
the stupid letter. I reached into my
blazer pocket and picked out my phone. I wrote a text saying that it was a dare
and to just ignore it. Before I went to sleep I got a text back saying OK. It
was enough to let me have some sleep.
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